How could one think of such a grand and powerful word as love, and be able to fully explain it anyway. Many great philosophers, poets and mystics have tried to describe it throughout ages, but definition of love in words have always been a never-ending daunting task to anyone. Khwaja Nasiruddin Chishti, one of the best known Sufi saints who lived in the capital Delhi, tried to explain love saying, 'One lamps light is our love, the other lamps light is our love. He portrayed ten stages and fifty phases of love both in the physical and divine level. Although he may not have written directly these stages of love, his teachings on love has certainly stuck around. Through his work, we realize that love goes beyond words; it is something to feel, and to feel, and to feel.
In this article, I will guide you through the 7 stages of love according to the Sufis and how love unfolds in stages. From fledgling infatuation to full-blown adoration, these stages provide a map for the manner by which love alters the body and our manner of relating with one another.
Stage 1: OLFAT (Attachment and Friendship)
Olfat (attachment, friendship and intimacy)—the first stage of love. This is the first phase of attraction and love for someone. It can be ignited from the simplest of things — an in-person meeting, a joint experience, or even reading about someone’s attributes. This stage is like a fire that kindles the heart
A popular anecdote from the Sufi tradition recounts how Nizamuddin Awliya was overwhelmed with love upon hearing a poem about Baba Farid, despite the two having never met; Baba Farid later became his guiding master. This is olfat in its essence—the birth of love in the heart before it has a logical reason to form.
Olfat in 7 stages of love in Urdu 7 stages of love in Hindi, When love grows silently, but still feels strong. This is the initial experience with love and most of the time along with the confusion and thrill.
Stage 2: KETMAAN-E-MAILAAN (Hiding Affections)
Ketmaan-e-mailaan, the second stage, in which you hide your affections, outlaw love. At this point, the lover feels a lot, but chooses to suppress themselves, likely out of fear or social stigma. This phase describes the inner chaos in the state of love yet to be declared.
There is a famous saying in Sufism that states, "the secret of the Friend must be kept," meaning that love must be secret, away from the eye of the world. The lover gets to taste the sweetness of love along with the desire of getting separated as well. It beautifully describes the pain of love in this phase through poetry, and the lover feels that their pain has no cure other than love itself.
Those who feel love in this stage are growing up and making sacrifices. The longing holds firm but the lover harbors it, allowing it room to breathe in the shelter of their solitariness.
Stage 3: TAMANNA (Yearning and Desire)
Tamanna The sham is the stage they reach in the 7 stages of love where ghalib has set about moving through the 7 stages as a lover — they are in deep desire and yearning to become one with the beloved. The heart desires intimacy, while the lover is irresistibly drawn to the beloved. He feels that this stage is very powerful where you have an intense desire of meeting your beloved at any cost. In some cases, this union was enough for the lover to risk death.
Tamannaa is often seen in Persian poetry as extravagant longing that could be only alleviated from the sight of the beloved. The desire is so strong that it possesses their lover, making him suck her passion from the tip of her tongue without censorship or restraint.
Stage 4: EKHBAAR O ESTEKHBAAR (Seeking Information and Connection)
The fourth stage is ekhbaar o estekhbaar, where one wishes to gain knowledge about their beloved and wants to be made aware of the beloved once similarly on the beloved who wish to know everything going around in her life and her feelings. The beloved's lover, for his part, tries finding out news about the beloved from others – family, friends or anyone that can give knowledge of their beloved.
This stage is typically characterized by an increased curiosity and longing for attachment. This is poet Hafez when he says, Whenever I am distant from You my union becomes more wished for. The lover misses the farthest and the nearby distance within inches but as much in months and years away, dying for any stamp, word, on paper or ink, to unite them.
Stage 5: TAZARRO’ O TAMALLOQ (Flattery and Humility)
The fifth stage, tazarro’ o tamalloq, is where the lover lowers his status and devote themselves to beloved like slaves. The lover lays down his pride and becomes submissive, sometimes resorting to flattery and adoration just to please the beloved. This phase of surrendering when the lover lays bare their emotions and pledges ultimate allegiance.
Sufis preach about how in love, one should demean themselves. The soul of one deeply in love with the one s/he loves becomes so permeated by the beloved that they are shameless enough to expose their vulnerabilities to despair. Humble yourself is understood as being intimately involved and being truly devoted.
Stage 6: SADAQAT (True Friendship and Loyalty)
The sixth level of love is Sadaqat, or the true loyalty. At this point the lover has transcended the lustful and the sexual and is fully devoted to the relationship. The unconditional phase: While domesticated, there is no more expectation from the beloved. Whatever may happen, the lover is steadfast and faithful while the beloved is still performing such actions.
At this point, the applications may feel jealous, as well, but it is jealous that comes from a place of true love and concern. In this twisted form of loyalty the lover often shields the beloved from harm or harm from others.
Stage 7: SHAGHAF (Violent Affection and Ultimate Devotion)
Celebrity worship is the last stage of love — at this point love is so intense it can be overwhelming (shaghaf). The lover has now tasted complete love without an atom of self left in him/her. The loving intent overwhelms the lover until there is nothing left of the lover.
Shaghaf is a state of love beyond the extreme in the sense that a lover puts everything on the table and dare to do anything either emotional or mental and even physical to its beloved. A love that transcends all boundaries and arrives at a stage of fusion where the lover attains oneness with the beloved. This stage is the final point of the 7 stages of love: when every doubt, insecurity, and fear disappears to be replaced only with absolute, unconditional love.
The 7 Stages of Love in Hindi and Urdu Traditions
The seven stages of love discussed in 7 stages of love in Urdu and 7 stages of love in Hindi conforms quite closely to the Sufi teachings we just talked about. Despite the semantic differences love is broadly perceived as a spiritual journey in both languages, each stage yielding a clearer and deeper perception of devotion and sacrifice, union with the beloved. These stages are not solely romantic love — they are about potent human and spiritual merging
Love in both traditions is not some mysterious emotion, but rather an ongoing exploration of growth. These stages imbue the realization that love is not merely the union with the beloved, but love is also an internal passage to self-transformation, to further one step closer to even telling truths of the world.
Conclusion
The 7 stages of love is a beautiful complex road map of how love unfolds and transitions from one stage to another Starting from the mere excitement of olfat ending with the uttermost devotion of shaghaf (to be madly in love), these stages take us through different emotions and experiences that need to be a part of the comprehensive journey of love. Irrespective of the language used be it 7 stages of love in hindi or 7 stages of love in urdu, the stages of love have only 1 thing in common, that love is healing, love can hurt, love changes you, love can strip you raw, love can rip you open, love can literally bring you to you knees but love is also the only thing that will ever give you any sense of peace with the pain and the joy that is this life — love is what it takes to get closer to who you really are and who you were always meant to become.
If we reflect and ponder over these stages, then we will understand the schematics of love, and it will also help us realize how love makes its way in our lives even when we donnot know about it. Lets face it, love is a journey, one we take from the heart and perhaps the meaning of love is in the journey itself — of devotion, connection and ultimately Union.
